Written back in spetember

This was written back in september....


The last few weeks i have forgoten that God is in controol, i have not been able to see what is right in front of me, and what i do have. But i have also been missing out on what is going on in the lives around me because i have been so foucused inward, that i lost sight of the outward(if that makes sense!). I want so despirately for God to come in and transform my way of thiking and help me to foucus more on others. And i want Him to be my foucus, not my anxeiy. These anxious thoughts im having are not of God, and they are not true!! a few days ago i had an increadible conversation with an amazing friend(actualy ive had a few the last few weeks) and this friend really got me thiking and called me out on a few things, and it really was a God thing, and was excatly what i needed to hear! I have been so foucused on negative thoughts and fears that im almost making them a reailty when i dont want them to be. I want my foucus right now to be less on me and more on others, because it is when i become so foucused on me, that i over think, over analyze, and im not able to sit back and enjoy the gifts God has placed in my life! Yes, these relationships are gifts from God!! Ihave not been able to look past my on nose, and see the whole picture, i have made it all about me when it shouldnt be all about me, i need to start looking UPWARD and OUTWARD!! These thoughts i am having are not at all true, the reailty is that i have amazing poeple in my life who love me, and i need to stop this behavior of mine and reqonize the relationships as gifts and STOP living in the fear of lossing them. It is driving me crazy and it is driving these poeple in my life crazy! These poeple God has put in my life are amazing and have been absoultly incridible! I love how they have come along side me, but i want to be able to come alongside them! There needs to be a healther balance in the relationships. This constant need i have to always be connected with them and always have to talk to them is NOT of God because it causes so much anxiety. The realtionships need to be Christ centered, not about me or them.....it needs to be centred on Christ! I think for me, i have lost sight of this. This life is not our own, these relationships are not my own....they belong to God! I need to sit back, let God be God, and enjoy the ride, and once i do, i know things will only get better! Please pray, because this has realy been a daily and moment by moment battle for me! My hope and prayer is that these poele know and reqonize how much i really and truly love and adore them.....they are blessing from GOD!! Pray pray pray!! :-)